Snowmen & the Art of Wasting Time
2 Jan
Here’s one thing you might already know about me: I don’t like wasting time. Here’s something else you might not know: For the first 39 years and 363 days of my life, I had never built a snowman.
Why? Because it’s always seemed like a waste of time.
You spend an hour or more trying to fashion a few oversized bowling bowls out of frozen water and then figure out a way to stack them. Your reward is that the whole project literally melts down in a few days, or even faster in North Carolina. Better to save yourself the trouble and peg somebody in the face with a snowball instead. Plus, I can’t build anything that requires more than scissors and tape.
When the heavens sent a few inches of great packing snow during a holiday trip last week to Pennsylvania, my kids, who hardly ever see snow, couldn’t wait to play in it. We chased each other around my parents’ yard, and, in a rather unexpected turn of events, I was the one who got pegged in the face with a snowball.
Then the kids hit on a genius plan: Let’s make a snowman!
Before I could encourage them to shovel the driveway instead, my 5-year-old daughter had already marched the length of the yard, rolling a giant ball that roughly equaled her body weight.
“How do you know how to do that?” I asked in astonishment.
“I saw it on Max and Ruby,” she explained.
Not to be out-parented, at least this time, by a television show, I rolled two more balls to make the mid-section and the head. And here was the strange thing: I kind of enjoyed it. So much so that when we had the body assembled I devised a plan for making a face out of holly berries and hair from pine tree limbs.
Then we built a second one that, in my humble opinion, was even better than the first. The kids were proud of our work but not prouder than their dad. For the next couple days, I regarded these masterpieces from an upstairs window, and this thought bubbled up. Perhaps my resistance all those years to building a snowman was not actually about wasting time. Maybe it was really about my own inability to simply live in the present moment.
I rarely do anything just for the sake of doing it. I like my activities to have a larger purpose and meaning. When it seems they don’t, my patience melts faster than a snowman in July. And yet, of course, our lives are nothing but a succession of present moments, many of which are lost as we anticipate future moments that will also be lost to inattention.
Somehow this cycle needs to be broken.
When we left my parents’ place yesterday, it was nearing 40 degrees and one of the snowmen had vanished almost entirely. The other was tilted sideways in a funky limbo pose, destined for collapse by lunchtime.
For me, however, the lesson learned from making them was fully intact.
Good job Stephen! Way to do something seemingly utterly unproductive. It WAS however ultimately very productive, and meaningful, because you got to spend quality time with your kids!! It’s so rare we stop and do things like this these days- our society is results driven and about being human doings, not human beings (in my opinion). We grown ups need to be in some program forcing us to do an experiential activity, or exercise etc. in order for us to slow down long enough to do something such as this.
We got snowed in unexpectedly at my parent’s house a couple years ago here in NC at the holidays for an extra day and overnight, had already done everything we had came to do and were all getting a little stir crazy. Jason and I went outside and made a snowgirl (who we named Ginger
, who turned out to be very large and sturdy! We gave her a scarf, hat, the whole works. It was so much fun and very impromptu- something we never would have done if we hadn’t been “forced” to. The universe works in mysterious ways! Happy 40th year- I hear it’s the new 20!
I’ll tell you one thing, Val — I’d rather be 40 than 20 any day, even though it’s meant forfeiting almost all of my hair. Great story about Ginger. And great example of how to not only stay in the present but also really enjoy it too.
Excellent post! Glad you got to make those snowmen. SO much fun!
Thanks, Erin! Hope all’s well in your part of the world. Growing up where you did, you no doubt have real expertise in making snowmen. Need to consult with you the next time we give that a shot.
Man at play! Unproductive, intentional play is so important in our lives. This morning the first thing my daughters did when they woke up was to check to make sure their snowman was still there. They were so proud of their creation, so proud of the result of their play.
Hey Jared — Happy New Year! Great to hear from you. Know you’re incredibly busy with your young family and everything else but hope you get back to working on prayerhabits at some point. Loved that blog — still consult your post on the examen regularly.
You were in Pennsylvania and didn’t call me?! Next time..
Only because my wife and I built a snowman, too (without our kids, who are too old for snowmen…) and it was so spontaneous and fun. I said the same thing, “I haven’t built a snowman in so many years.” Great thing, being present.
JB — when I say Pennsylvania, I’m talking about barely over the Mason-Dixon line in about as southern as southern Pennsylvania gets. Probably a couple hours away from you — but we definitely need to make that happen some time. I foresee a Martin-Wood snowman collaboration…